Jedi Talent Show
by LobsterLobster
Summary: When Anakin Skywalker's plan for the Annual Jedi Talent Show is derailed and his easy win is no longer looking so easy, all bets are off! He'll do whatever it takes to win! But what is Obi-Wan up to? And where did Ahsoka and Barriss learn that dance routine anyway? Clone Wars era COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Jedi Talent Show

Disclaimer: Anything recognizable does not belong to me.

A/N: Please do not take this seriously! I hope you will be as amused as I was while writing it. Expect several more short chapters.

Chapter 1

Anakin Skywalker was in a sour mood. He was back on Courscant while his Star Cruiser was at the depot for some much needed repairs and the clone troopers were given some much deserved shore leave. The problem was that a certain Senator had been called into some urgent diplomatic meetings and had no time for him.

A nice sparring session with his Padawan would take his mind off things. Now, if only he could find said Padawan. She wasn't answering her commlink and Anakin had spent nearly half an hour walking around the Temple trying to find her when their Force bond led him to the Padawan dormitories.

Anakin knocked on the door to Barriss Ofee's room. Then knocked again. He could sense Ahsoka inside, but she was distracted. He knocked one more time, more loudly. There was no answer.

Anakin did not appreciate being ignored. He keyed the door to open and was met by pulsing, upbeat music.

Barriss' sleeping mat was rolled up and pushed into the corner of the small room. The two girls were dancing along to a holo recording.

"_All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!"_

It took a moment for Ahsoka and Barriss to realize they had company.

"Master!" Ahsoka abruptly stopped dancing.

"What in the worlds are you doing?" Anakin was truly bewildered.

"We're practicing! For the talent show," Ahsoka explained.

Anakin had forgotten about the annual Jedi Talent Show. It was a relatively new tradition and may or may not have been inspired by the popular holonet program 'Coruscant's Got Talent'.

"_If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it! Don't be mad once you see that he want it! If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it! Oh, oh, oh!"_

"You're doing this song?" Anakin raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you get it? It's funny because we're not allowed to get married. We're all single ladies!" Ahsoka said and Barriss, who was usually quite composed, giggled.

Anakin personally didn't find it particularly amusing but the two girls clearly thought it was very clever.

"And besides, everyone always does the same things. Lightsaber forms, sparring, Force levitating some rocks. We need to do something different if we want to stand out," Ahoska added.

"I suppose," Anakin said. It still seemed like an odd choice to him, but Ahsoka and Barriss were having a good time, so who was he to argue?

"You know, I forgot all about the Talent Show. I guess I'd better go find Obi-Wan so we can practice sparring," Anakin said, getting ready to leave.

Ahsoka's next words stopped him in his tracks, "Oh, I talked to Master Obi-Wan earlier. He said he's doing his own talent this year."

Anakin froze. That couldn't be right. He must have misheard.

"Obi-Wan said what?!"

"We saw Master Kenobi in the Archives this morning. He said that he was doing something new for the show. He didn't say what it was," Barriss said, trying to be helpful.

Suddenly the Force felt like a dark cloud hanging over Anakin.

"Master?" Ahsoka started to ask but he was already walking away down the hallway.

Ahsoka and Barriss exchanged looks. Then Ahoska shrugged, "He does that sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it."

"Okay. Let's start it again from the beginning," Barriss said.

…

TBC!


	2. Chapter 2

Jedi Talent Show

Chapter 2

Obi-Wan Kenobi was enjoying a leisurely lunch in the Temple cafeteria, chatting with friends that he hadn't seen in months, when a black gloved hand slammed down on the table in front of him.

Despite his finely honed Jedi composure, the loud noise nearly made him jump out of his skin.

"TRAITOR!" Anakin shouted.

Looking up at his very angry, very loud former apprentice, Obi-Wan blinked in stunned confusion. He didn't have to wait long for an explanation.

"You're entering the Talent Show by yourself!" Anakin accused.

Obi-Wan nodded a bit hesitantly, "Yes. I am."

"Were you even going to tell me?" Anakin demanded and Obi-Wan started to understand.

"Of course I was going to tell you," Obi-Wan said reasonably, but Anakin was not to be placated.

Each year the winning performer, or duo, had their name engraved on a little golden plaque hung under a banner that read 'Most Talented Jedi' on a wall outside one of the training rooms. Most Jedi insisted that it was only a silly tradition, not to be taken seriously, but most Jedi also tend to be very competitive at heart. The plaques for the past five years read 'KENOBI & SKYWALKER'.

"But why? We always perform together and we always win. Why mess that up?" Anakin asked, still upset but thankfully a bit calmer.

"We always do the same thing. Again and again and again. People will get tired of it," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin glared. "Or _you_ will get tired of it," he accused.

"Anakin. Please," Obi-Wan was growing frustrated but he wanted Anakin to understand, "You and I have fought together nearly every day since this war started, and when we're not doing that we practice sparring. And you know I wouldn't have it any other way, but don't you want a break for once? To do something different?"

"Like what?" Anakin asked impatiently.

If Obi-Wan thought he had a talent that was more spectacular than the two of them performing a free-style sparring session, complete with Force-assisted acrobatics and endless lightsaber maneuvers executed with speed and precision, it had better be something good.

"It's a surprise. And honestly, Anakin, I had no idea it was so important to you. It's only a talent show."

Anakin clenched his teeth. If Obi-Wan wanted to be difficult, then fine. He should have expected as much.

"Fine. Do whatever you want. I don't need you anyway," Anakin said icily.

Obi-Wan watched his friend stalk away, thinking as he often did after a confrontation with Anakin, 'I probably could have handled that better.'

From their expressions, it was clear that apparently Aayla and Luminara agreed with that assessment.

"You didn't even tell him you were breaking up the partnership?" Aayla commented.

Luminara shook her head, "That's cold."

…...

TBC!


	3. Chapter 3

Jedi Talent Show

Chapter 3

There was a tangible buzz of excitement in the Force. Anakin Skywalker had taken over one of the larger training rooms. A piece of flimsy posted near the doorway stated that he was holding auditions for a sparring partner for the Talent Show.

It didn't take long for a crowd of curious Jedi to form, filling up the observation area on the side of the room. There were hopeful Knights and ambitious Padawans, each convinced that a partnership with the fearless Skywalker was a sure ticket to First Place.

They each fought their hardest, calling on the Force to sharpen their reflexes. Anakin defeated them all, one after another, barely even breaking a sweat. Jedi after Jedi was disarmed and, after a courteous bow, slunk off to the benches around the edge of the room to catch their breath and rub their sore muscles.

Word of what was happening spread through the Temple like a spark in a dry field. Many Jedi had heard the fantastic stories of young Skywalker's exploits and realized that this was the perfect chance to see if he really was as good as his reputation claimed.

Jedi of all species and all ranks, many fresh from combat deployments against the Separatists, came to challenge Anakin. But one after another, their attacks were too predictable or their defensive parries a fraction too slow, and they were soundly defeated.

Quinlan Vos was the first one to give Anakin a run for his money. They fought in a flurry of slashes and blocks, their sabers humming and sparking against each other. Anakin started to feel a glimmer of hope that he had found a suitable replacement for Obi-Wan, but it turned out that Quinlan was still recovering from a nasty blaster wound to his left arm and after one misjudged swing, Anakin deftly knocked his saber from his loosened grip.

After fighting upwards of thirty Jedi, with hardly any breaks between bouts, Anakin was growing tired. He wasn't about to admit as much but, when one of the Masters supervising a group of star struck Initiates who had come to watch suggested that they call it a night, Anakin agreed.

Auditions began again in earnest the next morning, the last day before the Talent Show.

One of Anakin's best traits was his ability to adapt under pressure. So time and again he managed to outmaneuver, outthink, wear down, or simply overpower each challenger. After a few hours of this, Jedi started to face him in groups or two or even three. There were some impressive bouts but ultimately Anakin came out on top each time.

The highlight of the day was Kit Fisto. Always ready for a friendly challenge, Master Fisto led a lively round. He moved with a fluidity and grace that often masked the power of his attacks. After a rough start, Anakin was able to recall training with the older Jedi during his early Padawan days and, sinking more deeply into the Force, began to anticipate his moves.

Anakin kicked out, forcing Kit to block the strike with his forearm. Sensing his opening, Anakin freighted a wide slashing attack but at the last second instead jabbed his blade forwards, the glowing tip held a fraction away from Kit's chest.

The Nautalan Jedi's face registered surprise then a more solemn respect. He deactivated his saber and Anakin followed suite.

"Well done. You have grown a lot the last few years, Skywalker," Kit said, bowing deeply.

"Thank you, Master," Anakin replied.

"I will let you know when I make my decision," he added, but Kit had a feeling that the young man was only being polite. It was clear he was out of the running.

Word began to spread that Anakin Skywalker was taking on the whole Temple. Gossip and speculation flitted through the hallways, the classrooms, and even in the Council Chamber.

Some less generous Jedi wondered about a rift between the usually inseparable Kenobi/Skywalker duo, dismissing Anakin as a hot headed show-off. One rumor said that the whole thing, the Cafeteria argument, the auditions, and Obi-Wan's mystery talent, were merely a rouse and Kenobi and Skywalker were going to come out with something more spectacular than ever.

After several hours of fighting, despite the boost to his ego at besting so many talented Jedi, Anakin was feeling disappointed that he hadn't found a single person to be his partner for the show.

He needed someone who could challenge him and compliment him at the same time. Someone who was evenly matched to his unique fighting style. Someone who was Obi-Wan.

No. Anakin shook that thought away. He glanced about the room, looking for his next challenger, when his stomach growled. It was well past lunch time.

Anakin sat alone in the cafeteria, eating slowly. Maybe he was being too harsh. Maybe he should just choose someone already. But nobody was the right match. If he wanted to beat Obi-Wan, whatever Obi-Wan was planning on doing, he had to have the right match.

His thoughts were interrupted by someone setting their tray down across from him.

A deep voice said, "I have a proposition for you."

…...

TBC!


	4. Chapter 4

Jedi Talent Show

Chapter 4

It was the day of the Talent Show. Hundreds of Jedi gathered in the Grand Auditorium.

As expected, there were the usual displays of lightsaber forms, acrobatic maneuvers, and tricks of telekinesis. One Jedi had the stage lights dimmed and spun her lightsaber so fast that it looked like a solid sheet of light moving about her. Another levitated assorted rocks, borrowed from the gardens, while balancing on one hand.

Then came Ahoska Tano and Bariss Ofee. They strode onto the stage and a hush fell over the audience. Then the music started to play and, dancing in near perfect synchronization, they belted out the lyrics.

The audience started to clap along with the rhythm. Padawans and young Initiates sang along and, as Ahsoka and Bariss hit their last note and struck a pose, cheered so enthusiastically that many older Jedi cringed at the deafening noise.

Ahsoka and Bariss bowed to the audience and then rushed off stage, huge grins on their faces.

"We did it!" Ahoska exclaimed breathlessly.

"You were amazing!" Bariss said.

"No, you were amazing!" Ahsoka said, hugging her.

"I wish I could have seen my Master's face," Bariss laughed.

Out in the crowd, Master Luminara's surprise had yet to fade. She'd had no idea that her reserved, studious Padawan even liked to sing or dance, let alone that she clearly had a good deal of talent for it.

There's no way Bariss would have chosen that routine on her own, Luminara was sure. Ahsoka's friendship seemed to be bringing the young girl out of her shell, and for that Luminara was happy. Even if she was a bit baffled by their taste in music.

Anakin was sitting next to Quninlan Vos, his arm in a sling, who said, "Wow, Skywalker. Your apprentice sure can dance."

"For the record," Anakin told him, "I did not teach her that!"

…..

TBC!

A/N: Next chapter will be longer!


	5. Chapter 5

Jedi Talent Show

Chapter 5

The stage lights were dimmed and faint footsteps could be heard. A soft light fell on the center of the stage, revealing Obi-Wan Kenobi sitting on a tall stool, holding an old fashioned wooden instrument.

A hush fell over the crowd. Obi-Wan strummed his fingers over the strings and a warm, full sound floated out.

"I could tell that it was over, when her lips met mine," he sang, the notes drawn out and resonant, "It was an emptiness in her voice, hesitation when she smiled. She didn't have to say a word, it was just so plain to see. She had found what she'd been looking for, and I knew it wasn't me."

The entire audience was spellbound by the time he reached the chorus.

"I saw goodbye in her eyes," Obi-Wan sang, drawing out the last word, getting lost in the song now, "I don't think I can change it. There's no way to disguise, we will never make it."

It was unmistakably a love song, beautiful but tragic. Many Jedi found themselves unexpectedly moved by the pain and tenderness in Obi-Wan's clear voice and more than a few had to discretely wipe their eyes with the sleeves of their robes.

As the song finished and applause erupted, Ayala shook her head in wonder. She'd considered Obi-Wan to be a close friend for many years but she'd never once heard him sing.

"I had no idea he had such a talent! Ayala, did you know he could sing?" Luminara asked from the seat beside her.

"No, I had no idea!" Ayala said, "The show is proving to be full of surprises this year."

"The real question," said Shaak-Ti, speaking up from her other side, almost as if talking to herself, "is who is it that broke his heart?"

The Jedi exchanged looks but nobody ventured to speculate. It seemed that they didn't know their friend quite as well as they'd all thought.

Anakin stood at the edge of the stage, out of sight. He was supposed to be preparing for his own performance but had made sure to watch his old Master's.

His first reaction had been to think, 'This is such typical Obi-Wan. All these years, there was no hint of musical talent. And then he goes out there and can not only sing, but play that instrument, too. He's good at everything and acts like it's so easy. It's infuriating.'

But as he listened to the lyrics, his thoughts started to shift.

Obi-Wan sang, "Now she sees right through me, should I hold on to what we've got? Is it just a waste of time? One thing that I know for sure…I saw goodbye in her eyes."

Anakin was conflicted and surprised. The normally reserved Obi-Wan, who rarely expressed his feelings even to Anakin, was now singing a love song in front of practically the entire Jedi Order? Who was this person on stage and what had they done with the real Obi-Wan?

By the end of the song, Anakin was sure he knew who the song was about. There was only one potential love interest in Obi-Wan's life. But this was a sad love song. So what did it mean? Did that Duchess break up with Obi-Wan? Did that mean he'd been right, that they did have a secret affair all along? Should he talk to Obi-Wan about it?

Then the music stopped and Obi-Wan bowed to the audience, who responded with thunderous applause, the loudest of the night. Obi-Wan started to walk off stage and Anakin hastily ducked out of view. Whatever may or may not be going on with Obi-Wan's love life, Anakin could not lose sight of his goal. He still had a contest to win.

…...

TBC!

A/N: Obi-Wan's song is Goodbye In Her Eyes by the Zack Brown Band.


	6. Chapter 6

Jedi Talent Show

Chapter 6

The stage was dark. Clouds of fake smoke billowed and hugged the ground, spreading out and slowly curling over the edges of the stage.

The audience shifted in their seats, anticipation crackling in the air. This was the last performance and it had to be Skywalker.

"Who did he end up choosing for his partner?" Obi-Wan, now back in the audience, whispered to his neighbor.

"No idea. Nobody knows," someone else whispered back.

"Shh, it's starting!" another voice admonished.

A light appeared, revealing the dark silhouette of a tall figure. Ominous music began to play as the figure strode forward, the edges of a long black cape swirling through the smoke. The martial sounding drums gave way to loud horns.

Dun-dun-dun-dun-da-dun! Dun-da-dun!

DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DA-DUN! DUN-DA-DUN!

The foreboding figure marched to the center of the stage. It was Anakin, dressed from head to toe in black, his hair flowing in an unseen wind, his expression fierce and his eyes bright. He paused and then, in time with a crash of music, ignited his lightsaber, held causally out to the side. The light from the saber glinted off his polished boots.

In his seat, Obi-Wan watched with his eyes wide, mouth hanging open. Around him, people seemed to freeze on the edges of their seats.

"The time has come!" Anakin declared, his voice resounding through the chamber without any need of a microphone.

"Nobody can stand in my way! Every world will fall at my feet! I will not rest until the entire galaxy is MINE!" Anakin raised his saber high above his head in a victorious salute.

Suddenly an icy chill ran down Obi-Wan's spine.

Then from the side of the stage appeared a tall Jedi, the hood of their brown robe pulled up. The Jedi strode purposefully towards Anakin then stopped. The hood was lifted and the robe fell to the ground.

Jedi Master Mace Windu squared off opposite Anakin. A murmur ran through the crowd. In all the years of the Talent Show, none of the senior Masters on the Council had ever participated.

"Stop right there!" Master Windu's deep voice boomed.

"Ha! There's no way you can defeat me!" Anakin shouted, a hint of a grin breaking his serious expression. This was way too much fun! He could hardly believe he was getting to yell at Mace Windu, and it had been all Mace's idea too!

"I think you overestimate your power, young one!" Master Windu said, that familiar hint of contempt that Anakin always hated evident in his voice.

"I'll give you one last chance," Anakin said, "Join me, and together we can bend the path of history to our will!"

Mace frowned, "I will never join you!"

Anakin appeared to consider this. He scanned the audience, taking in their rapt faces. He turned back to Mace.

"Then you will DIE, Jedi scum!" Anakin shouted. He caught a flash of a glare from Mace. So what? He was entitled to make some minor additions to the script, for dramatic effect of course.

"I don't think so!" Mace said grimly. He held out his hand and his saber jumped from his belt to his palm, igniting with a snap into a purple-white glow.

Anakin lunged, swinging his lightsaber in a wide attack. Mace moved to block him and the blades flashed against each other. Anakin swung again, high then low then high again, picking up speed. Mace blocked him each time, giving way one step at a time.

Then a hard blow knocked Mace's lightsaber from his hand. It disengaged and clattered across the stage. The audience gasped.

Anakin paused to give a mocking laugh and raised his saber to deliver a killing blow but Mace thrust out his palm and Anakin was sent flying backwards. Mace held out his hand again and called his lightsaber back to him while Anakin picked himself up off the floor.

Then Mace went on the offensive but Anakin matched him move for move. They clashed again, moving back and forth across the stage, each gaining the upper hand only to lose it again.

Watching from the audience, Obi-Wan thought that he was the only one who knew how truly impressive it was. Anakin was using moves that Obi-Wan had never seen before, and there was no way they'd had time to rehearse this. Anakin was improvising. He was holding his own against Mace Windu, who was widely acknowledged as one of the best swordsmen of his generation. And he was doing it with style.

When their blades separated again, Anakin took a half step backwards and paused, exchanging a small nod with Mace. Mace smiled and swung wide towards Anakin, who collapsed to the floor only a second before Mace's lightsaber passed through the air where his neck had been. Anakin's lightsaber disengaged.

"NOOOOOOOooooo!" Anakin moaned, "Aghhhhh…." His lightsaber fell out of his hand and rolled slowly away from his twitching fingers.

"I'm dyyyying…" Anakin clutched his chest.

Mace stood over him. He raised one eyebrow, waiting.

"Aaraaghhh uughhhh….agh…ehghhhh…" Anakin convulsed one last time and then collapsed back, eyes closed, finally still.

Mace calmly returned his lightsaber to his belt and, facing the audience, bowed deeply. The stage lights went down and the audience sat in stunned silence for a long second before bursting into applause and cheers. Everyone was clapping, except for Ahsoka, who could only cringe. Her master's acting skills were so embarrassing!

From his spot splayed out on the ground in the dark, Anakin grinned. Mace offered him a hand and helped him to his feet and, if Anakin was not mistaken, let slip a smirk of his own.

…...

TBC!


	7. Chapter 7

Jedi Talent Show

Chapter 7

"Are you sure?" Aayla asked, more out of surprise than any doubt that the count was wrong.

"Yes, I checked it twice. Dead even," Master Plo Koon replied, "It's a tie between Kenobi, and Windu and Skywalker."

They'd never had a tie before. "I suppose it's up to use to choose the winner, then," someone suggested and there were nods around the Council Chambers.

Luminara spoke up first, "Kenobi's performance was quite moving. He showed a talent that, I believe, most of did not know he had."

"Yes, that's true. But…I'm not sure it was entirely appropriate," one of the older council members said.

"Inappropriate? How?" Aayla asked, a little more defensively than she'd intended.

"It was a love song. Not exactly fitting for a member of the Jedi Council. It was a breach of decorum," Ki-Adi-Mundi explained, shaking his large head slowly.

Aayla personally thought that briefly loosening those sort of strict notions of how a Jedi was expected to behave was half the point of having a Talent Show in the first place. But the conversation had moved on before she could make her point.

"Young Skywalker's demonstration was very impressive. He's always had a flare for the dramatic," Kit Fisto said, and several people chuckled in agreement.

"Yes, his lightsaber talent was exceptional," Ki-Adi-Mundi said, "but…and I hesitate to speculate what Master Windu was thinking when he agreed to that, but it is the dramatic elements of his performance that I must take issue with."

Aayla stifled a sigh. This whole debate was starting to ruin the fun.

"I'm afraid I agree," Master Depa Billaba said, "The thematic elements were not appropriate for the audience at all, especially the fake death at the end. Several younglings were crying!"

"So should we give it to Kenobi then?"

"No, don't write off Windu and Skywalker. They both showed extraordinary precision and control."

"But Kenobi's talent was so unexpected."

"Yes. We all know who the great swordsmen are. Let's celebrate something new."

The conversation went around in circles for a few more moments before there was the sharp sound of Master Yoda's wooden staff tapping on the ground. The Council Chambers grew quiet and all eyes turned to him.

When he had their attention, Yoda spoke, "Overthinking this, you are. Charge by the letter, they do not."

…...

TBC!


	8. Chapter 8

Jedi Talent Show

Chapter 8

The next morning, Anakin and Ahsoka stood in the hall outside one of the training rooms, ignoring the other students chatting and laughing around them. The little golden plaque on the wall read 'WINDU & SKYWALKER, KENOBI'.

Anakin let out a sigh. Ahoska looked up at him in surprise.

"Master, why are you disappointed? You won!" she said, adding under her breath, "…again."

"But I didn't really win. It was a tie. And look, my name is still second!" As he said the words, Anakin could practically hear Obi-Wan chastising him for complaining.

"Hmm," Ahsoka considered for a moment, "but think of it this way, Master. Your name is second, but it's in front of Master Obi-Wan's this time."

"That's right, it is," Anakin smiled slowly. Sometimes Ahsoka understood him better than anybody. He rested a hand on her shoulder and they stood together, admiring the plaque together for a moment longer.

"Maybe next year I'll team up with you and Barriss. I heard this great song on the holonet the other day," Anakin said offhandedly.

Ahsoka's horrified expression was priceless. "Master, _no_!"

…

The End!

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!


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